my vag is so smooth its legendary
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize
