I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
I don't think brook has ever known best
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
