so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
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