So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Randomize
