In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
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