ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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