My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
