Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
