I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
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