If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I don't deserve a penis
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Randomize
