Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Randomize
