mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Randomize
