i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
