he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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