Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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