i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
