Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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