Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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