hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
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