OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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