I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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