White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Bring me that man meat
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
