Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
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