And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
She's just so happy...and so naked.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
