then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Randomize
