Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
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