I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize