So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
