My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Randomize