I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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