i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Randomize
