it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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