Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
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