The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Randomize
