toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
That accounts for only three of the penises
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
