I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
