rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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