Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
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