why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
