I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
