Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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