my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
sex in a hospital.. check
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
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