Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
