Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
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