If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
