I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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