Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
