I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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