Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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