I am spending my child support on dildos
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I just had sex on a roof
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
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