Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
