You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
