While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
You're earring is so big in my mouth
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize