the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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