What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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