Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
