So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
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Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
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