Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
