recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Randomize