Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Alive.
So much puke
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Randomize
