don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
