His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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