I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize
