Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
