Will you blow on my dice?
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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