At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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